18 April, 2011

I Have Some Great News....

I have some great, fantastic, amazingly awesome news.

That I can't share.

I know, aren't you sad too? But I can't share my news just yet. And it's important that I don't share quite yet. I want to...I really want to do. I want to scream it from the roof tops because I am so excited about this adventure we're about to embark upon, as a family.

Go ahead and make your guesses...I'm sure there is already tons of speculation from my friends on facebook (minus those that I HAVE told, which have been only a few). But there are so many things it could be, that honestly, it's so up in the air that I bet you probably can't guess, which is exactly how I want it. I could tell everyone who has asked, but it is honestly in the best interest of my entire family for me to keep it quiet. So I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone's feelings, but really, this is for the best.

However, I will be able to talk about it soon, so no worries. It's a huge event in our lives, and I feel like I should talk about it...to either explain myself or just discuss the matter, or a little of both. So expect some updates about whats going on in our family, and how it is going to get more awesomer. (Yes, that's not a word, I know)

So yay! Expect that readers. Expect. That. *said like Antoine Dodson*

In other news, I got an email back from my trainer for the doula class regarding the rough draft of my communication assignment. Overall, she thought I did a great job, and just wanted me to elaborate on a couple points, like why I felt like I wouldn't be able handle contractions, and the like. So tonight or tomorrow, I'll be elaborating a smidge, and submitting my final draft. I was worried about how the trainer would react to the paper, since they have their own format for the paper, but I feel really good knowing that she thinks I did a great job. *phew*

That's it for today readers. I've been trying to blog a little bit more, and now that I have exciting new topics to blog about (soon! soon, I promise!), I'll be doing that a lot more.

15 April, 2011

Mrs. Obie - The (soon-to-be) Doula

Since the beginning of March, I've been working (slowly, but surely) towards obtaining my doula certification through Childbirth International. I've been looking into becoming a doula for quite some time now, and I WAS going to start up before I had Ophelia, but I decided to wait until she was older, since I was looking into taking the program DONA offered, and I would have had to be gone for 8 hours a day for a weekend to a workshop. Which...I didn't really like...but alright. So I found CBI (Childbirth International) after some research online. This program is awesome for a SAHM like me. It's 100% online, aside from one childbirth class that I have to observe, and the two births that I have to attend.

I'm VERY excited that I started this class. The last couple weeks have been a little difficult...Ophelia has been crawling around the house like crazy and she's been needing extra attention lately. Not to mention my mom and sister-in-law were here for a week. But, I love being able to do this on my free time. And I love that I don't have to be gone for a long period of time to go take a workshop (though, taking a workshop later on down the line as a refresher is always an option). If all school could be done 100% online, I would be super happy. (Not possible, I know, but still...)

So I'm about a third of the way through the course right now. I just turned in my communication assignment. We had to follow their model of describing, talking about our feelings, our actions, and other choices we could make if in a situation like this is in the future. I found it utterly exhausting to do. I didn't realize how irritated I was with some points in Ophelia's birth. It was very informative for me to write though. I honestly did find out a lot about myself, and how I experienced Ophelia's birth. Also, my amazing husband shared with me how he felt during the whole experience...which was amazing for me. Though we love each other, and we talk, he doesn't always share his feelings with me. Which is fine. It really is...I don't try to get him all emotional and "feelingy" with me. But when its something like Ophelia's birth...I really appreciate that he shared that with me. So that was fun. So I turned that in...my instructor is going to get back to me. I hope I did well enough that I don't have to completely redo the assignment. It was almost 8 pages long if you can believe that. If you read my birth story on my blog, it was no where NEAR 8 pages...like I said, it took a lot out of me...not just because I've been tired lately, but because writing about emotions, especially with something like the birth of your child...it was just emotionally tiring.

But its done...now to move on to the more physical parts of labor and delivery...which should be fun! I'm pretty excited about that.

On a different, but some-what related note, I have THE best husband in the world. I was asking him the other day if there were any couple pregnant in his unit. He said there was one that he knew of. The day after we talked about that, apparently he had a huge long discussion with the dad-to-be about how awesome natural childbirth is, and how great having a doula can be. *Swoon*. What wife WOULDN'T appreciate that?! Well, I mean, as long as you were passionate about natural childbirth/doulas and were on your way to becoming a certified doula and wanted to ultimately become a midwife. Unless you were one of THOSE wives, you probably wouldn't appreciate it. But seriously, I was just so proud of him and so thankful that he takes how I feel about NCB (natural childbirth) and doulas seriously, and thinks the same, otherwise, he wouldn't have said anything...right? Right. So I'm so, so happy about that little thing that happened. It was just...seriously...swoon-worthy.

I'll try to keep my blog updated with the goings-on of my doula class. I am so very excited about this venture. I really am. I think its great that I'm doing this now, while Ophelia is little, instead of going into nursing to start with my midwife stuff.

much love!

12 April, 2011

Why I Can't Win as a Mom

All moms (okay, the majority of moms) and dads want to do the very best that they can for their children. Some of us moms, take the extra step and buy organic, natural, good things for our children. It's not easy to find great things for out children to use...especially in this economy because generally, those things are really expensive.

After a conversation with my best friend this morning about Aquafresh Training Toothpaste (designed for babies 3-24 months), and being curious as to how good it is for kids that little to be using toothpaste, she pointed me to a website called Cosmetics Database, where they rate how good a product is for you to use based on the ingredients. It's on a scale of 0-10, 0 being the best and 10 being the worst.

I looked up the current shampoo/body wash that I use for Ophelia, which scored a 4-5. Now, a 4-5 out of 10 doesn't seem too bad...but if you were to grade it in school, that would be an F.

Now, a bottle of Yes! To Baby Carrots Shampoo, which costs about $8 or so, will last me MONTHS. Literally. I bathe Ophelia two-three times a week, and so far, the first bottle that I bought her still has a good couple of months left, and she'll be 7 months old this week. I picked out one of the bottles that Cosmetics Database rates a 0, called Baby Poof, is an 8.5oz bottle for $13 a pop. 8.5oz doesn't really last all that long. Probably a couple of months? So, for almost twice the money, which I'd be spending every 2-3 months instead of almost a year. I'd be spending over $50 for the best of the best that I can do for my baby (with shipping to Hawaii and tax, if applicable). Now, I'm not sure about you guys, but I can't be spending $100 a year on shampoo for both the girls. With the economy the way it is, and living on this little tiny island, the only way to get things to me is by airplane. And with the inflation of gas prices, it costs a ton to get things shipped out here.

So how can I be expected to do the very best for my kids that I can, without going broke?! Especially since we are a one income family, living off post and paying for everything (rent, utilities, tv/internet, cell phones, plus groceries and gas, which is an abomination that I won't even get into right now.).

After reading "Spit That Out!" by Paige Wolf, I've come to see that I shouldn't be worrying about buying everything organic or natural, not vaccinating, buying plastic toys, etc, because if I were to do everything like that, all the time, and worry continually about what I'm using to wash my kids, or what their clothes are made of, or what goes in their tummies, I would be an anxiety ridden mess. And no doubt I'd be filing for bankruptcy, and possibly getting a divorce from spending all my husbands hard earned money. The book makes a point to do things the very best that you can, without losing your shit.

But we obviously can't win as parents. Something is always bad for you, something is always going to cause you cancer, or disable or disfigure you somehow...its tiring. Its tiring to know so much information. It's tiring to try to keep your family safe and healthy.

So I've come to the conclusion that I can't do it all....I can only do the best I can, and leave it at that. And I think that's all we can do as parents. So if you are an anxiety ridden mama, trying to do the best for your kids, and you feel like you're failing...just remember to do the absolute best you can. Make compromises. But don't over analyze everything...because you're going to be stressed out, and broke.

But regardless. We still can't win as parents.