11 October, 2011

Court is Today

So today is the day. Court day. If you've been paying attention to the ongoing court situation (part 1 and part 2) today is the day of our hearing. We are actually going to go to court, sit in front of a judge, have him/her look over our case and decide what would be the best course of action in petitioning for Brad to legally adopt Reilly.

We haven't heard anything from Reilly's natural father (no text messages, phone calls, Facebook messages, emails, etc) or from anyone who could possibly be representing him...though I've gotten a hint from his facebook (a mutual friend...well...a friend of mine really...pointed out his current status that asks his friends to cross their fingers for him) that he may be at least calling in. I don't believe there is any chance that he will actually show up...but there's a chance that he'll be present. Though, I can't imagine why....he hasn't spoken to her in 10 months.

Yes...I keep reiterating that. I keep saying that he doesn't talk to her or he doesn't email her or ask to talk to her. I have to. While I've said that I completely understand if people want to take sides, I need the people who take HIS side to understand that I didn't wake up one morning and think "hmm! How can I fuck him over today?!" -- it's not like that. This hasn't been a problem for days or weeks, this has been a problem for years. This isn't that I'm just being mean. I'm trying to protect MY child from disappointment. I want people...especially people who know him...to understand that this isn't some fucking pitty party that needs to be thrown. I expect good, quality people to want to be involved in their child's life, regardless of where that child is. I live thousands and thousands of miles away from my parents and I still keep in contact with them. Even when I was a bitter, angsty teenager I had a better relationship with my parents (who I "hated") than he does with his daughter. And there are so many things out there now -- she has her own laptop with a webcam on it that I would be more than happy to download Skype on so she could sit in the play room and have a conversation with her natural father. But instead, he chooses not to.

I woke up this morning excited. My friend informed me of his status (remember, the one asking for fingers to be crossed). I got nervous...well...more nervous than I was previously. Court is always nerve wracking. But the more I think about it, the less nervous I decided I was...I know that Brad and I have done everything we possibly can for Reilly -- emotionally, mentally, physically and monetarily....but I'm angry. I'm angry at Brett for thinking he deserves some kind of sympathy from his friends and family when it's his fault that he doesn't have s relationship with his daughter. I'm angry that he thinks he deserves to even have a relationship with her now.

People say that DNA doesn't make a daddy. My husband is proof of that. Will he ever be biologically related to Reilly? No. But, he doesn't need to have the same DNA as her to be her dad. He has proven time and time and time again that he is up for the responsibility (in every single way) of taking care of her for....well....basically ever! Because of Brett's disability, he is at home almost all the time. He continually has access to a computer with a webcam and Skype. He also has access to a phone. He has the time. But instead of taking 20 minutes of out his day to talk to his daughter...to ask how school was...or what she's learning...or ask her what she can read all by herself...or who her friends are......he plays facebook games or WoW, or reads comic books.

You know what Brad does when Reilly gets home from school? He helps her with her homework. We all talk about what happened during the day.

So that's my pre-court "rant" of sorts. I'm not nervous. I'm confident that Brad and I are the best parents for Reilly. I am confident that her natural father doesn't have a leg to stand on. I'm confident that today will go in our favor. But I'm still nervous as hell.

And for everyone who thinks they are doing anyone a favor by feeling sorry for him...the only person you are doing a favor for is him. He needs someone to feel sorry for him. But this court hearing isn't about HIM. It's not about ME or BRAD or any one else. The only person it is about, is REILLY. And what is going to benefit HER in the long run. And what she's been through. And who has been there for her. And who WILL be there for her in the next weeks, months and years. Not who's DNA she's made out of.

I'll update everyone later about how it went.

Okay...now I'm nervous.


1 comment:

ashely brown said...

best of luck today!! we will be praying and thinking of you. Hoping the courts rule in your favor and you can come back with a wonderful update! ((hugs))